


Questions and Demands

by aptasi



Category: Wheel of Time - Robert Jordan
Genre: Chapter Fic, Developing Relationship, F/M, Flirting, Innuendo, Insecurity, Masturbation, Relationship Development, Secret Relationship, Sexual Content, pillowtalk, rivals with benefits to lovers, taverin swirl, warder bond feedback
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-08
Updated: 2021-03-06
Packaged: 2021-03-13 14:35:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,082
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29280078
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aptasi/pseuds/aptasi
Summary: Though they fell into them with no planning at all, the bed games Moiraine played with Thom often had the faint edge of rehearsal.
Relationships: Moiraine Damodred/Thom Merrilin
Comments: 15
Kudos: 17





	1. A little help

**Author's Note:**

> This is a hard M bordering on a soft E (may kick it up later). Rating is for sexual content and situations (some fade to black, some recalled, some partially obscured), Sindhol trauma, sexual effects of trauma including uncomfortable/difficult sex (with a supportive partner), referenced/metaphorical noncon, some eventual canon/world relevant sexualized kink/taboo breaking (think power dynamics nothing painful), brief mentions of self harm, and referenced torture. Most of the above in later chapters. 
> 
> I have a couple of chaptered versions of Moiraine/Thom's arcs starting from different postulates/assumptions about their relationship. This is the version that postulates that Moiraine and Thom tend to sexualize feelings to avoid having to deal with them directly. I wasn't originally planning on having this ready to start releasing first... or at all... but the wheel weaves. 
> 
> This is pretty easily the spiciest thing I've published. Also my first attempt at a chapter fic since I think 2013. I'm super nervous!

The first time happened in the most improbable way. Thom was only even in that part of the stone because he'd finally managed to get a conversation alone with Rand, his first in Tear, a walk and talk in the noble quarters. 

The conversation had been a reasonable success, and Thom had worked out a code system so he could get information to Rand in secret. Thom was just rounding the corner, flush with that anything could happen feeling that was getting louder and more frequent around the boys lately, when he saw Moiraine. 

She was sitting on the bench just outside her rooms in the Stone of Tear, on the bench by the fountain, leaning over the side, dunking her head.

"What are you doing?"

Moiraine tossed her head back. She crossed her legs one way and then the other. "Cooling down."

It wasn't that warm. 

Moiraine yanked at her neckline, not particularly gracefully. He had seen her hit a Trolloc over the head smooth as a court dancer, complete with a stylized jump. This reminded him of a tavern past midnight, even though it was late afternoon.

Maybe it was that warm. It felt warm. He had never seen Moiraine look this raw. 

"In a fountain?" He thought Aes Sedai were not affected by heat. "Are you ill? Are you drunk?"

"Unlikely." Her legs squirmed again. Water was dripping from her hair and kesiera. 

"Moiraine, what in the light is wrong with you."

"Sexual frustration." She stood, paced a small circle along the floor. 

"What?" He coughed.

"I..." she rocked on her heels. "Bloody ashes, you heard me."

Cursing. Moiraine cursing. Moiraine cursing because... bloody ashes indeed! He gaped. 

Moiraine splashed her face again, looking just as beautiful as she had on the north road but somehow even more intense, like she was trying to just ignore by will the fact that she was on fire. 

"Sexual. With someone in particular?"

"No..." she growled. "It is backlash from the Warder bond.

"Could you not just take care of yourself?" This made no sense. How under the light had he come to be suggesting to an Aes Sedai that she touch herself?

Moiraine laughed bitterly. "I never was any good at that. My life might have turned out very differently if I was. The wheel takes all things into consideration."

"Uh..."

"I tried." She snapped. "It made it so much worse."

"Well are you wound tight enough to want to sleep with someone." The situation was bloody surreal. Moiraine was one of the most beautiful women he had ever met. And an Aes Sedai. This was not the kind of interaction Thom expected an Aes Sedai to have with a man. A little flirtation sure, they had done that, but nothing with intent. 

"At this point." Her under the breath laughter sounded hysterical. "Almost anyone."

He stepped into the realm of too close. "An old Gleeman?" He ran the back of his hand along the side of her jaw, half expecting her to burn him to a crisp. He had to be overreaching. This was impossible.

"Are you offering to help me?"

Thom's mind frantically tried to remind him of what a bad idea this was, but burn him if he didn't have months of pent up lust for this woman himself. "Are you accepting?"

"Light, please."

He tried a quick kiss on her lips, which made her well near throw herself at him, pressing her body on his like she was desperate for contact. 

Well if that's where she was. Thom spun Moiraine and his arms went around her from behind, one around her waist, one lower, pushing on layers of skirts with the heel of his hand, just to see if that got him anywhere. It was crude, not matched to her, but it was action. Her hair smelled like rosewater.

Thom felt Moiraine draw in a ragged breath. "Do that again." She said through her teeth. 

He did, and a bit more.

At that, she gave a half despairing cut off chirp of a cry and shuddered violently, before twisting away. 

"Light." He remarked. "You really were pent up! There must have been four layers of fabric..." he saw her face looking uncharacteristically expressive. "I didn't mean to hurt you. I got caught up."

"It did not hurt." Moiraine rubbed her watering eyes on the back of her hand. "Thank you for the relief, Thom Merrilin."

"You're, erm, welcome."

"We should get out of the hallway." Moiraine muttered, still breathing heavily. "Light a public hallway what is wrong with me." She shook her head.

"Here." He steered her by the arm back the few steps to her own apartments. "What under the light just happened?"

"A misapplication of the Warder bond."

He closed the door behind him. "So you said, but if all Aes Sedai had this problem I would have heard about it by now. Wait, you mean Lan bedded someone, and it struck your flint?"

"So to speak."

"I.." He knew who it was. He was sure the whole stone did. If there was anyone who didn't know the warder was in love with Nynaeve,they were probably insensate. "I am sorry."

Moiraine shrugged "Lan Gaidin is free to bed whomever he pleases. I am not his wife. I would have preferred he not fall in love but," she shook her head sharply, "the wheel weaves. We have always taken our pleasures separately. That was no betrayal. But he should warn me." 

"What do you mean?"

"Suppose my warder says to me 'Give me two hours. There's a woman.' Then I can mask the bond and not feel it."

So that was how it worked. 

"But if he says nothing, then first it begins, and then I mask it. I seem to be especially suggestible and I am beginning to think that girl Nynaeve is deliberately trying to torture me with ill warning."

Thom wouldn't put it past her. 

"Which is more palatable than the notion that Lan simply does not care enough anymore to bother with the courtesy." Her usual dignity seemed a little smudged, but even off her balance she looked majestic. 

"Maybe he thinks you'll forbid him." Thom suggested. 

Moiraine blinked. "I try to avoid orders I know will not be obeyed."

Light but she was beautiful. Regal like a queen of queens. And he was an old fool who just groped her like a lightskirt, like someone who was eager when there was no way Moiraine Sedai could be that open for him. "You must have been very surprised, tonight." He said in his best attempt at neutral.

"I was asleep when it began." Moiraine said. "I woke as they finished."

"Oh. That would do it." Early in the evening for sleep but he supposed with her schedule she rested when she could. 

"Truly, it is simply the inconsiderate nature of it." She said. "If I just had a chance to mask the bond..."

Then she wouldn't have been ready to jump an old Gleeman "I took advantage."

"I truly do not think you have anything to apologize for, Thom Merrilin." She said. "I initiated and I benefited. If anything, I should apologize for taking advantage of you."

He coughed. "Don't worry about it. Happy to."

"Or if it was welcomed I should reciprocate the favor." Her eyes took on a considering look. "I am somewhat out of practice, but I give passable head."

Thom very well nearly fell over. "You what?"

"I dislike being in another's debt." Moiraine said, collected and matter of fact as the advisor to power she was.

He caught hold of both her hands. "You don't owe me anything." He said firmly. 

She licked her lips. 

"Unless you want to ..." He croaked.

"I cannot deny" Moiraine said slowly. "That there is a thrill to the thought of paying you back that way."

"Coming from bond, do you think?" He put his hands on her shoulders, so small and regal.

"They have stopped."

"That's not an answer." His heart was racing. That Moiraine had even suggested something like that was uncanny, but was she really resisting him talking her out of it?

"At least some of it is just me." Her neck looked flushed and her eyes wide.

Thom knew people said he could play Daes Dae'mar in his sleep, but even he took a moment to process the subtext here. The tone of it reminded him of court somewhere, but the content… Moiraine had to know he would not try to hold a woman to that kind of debt, or to any debt for that kind of payment. So she had acknowledged it, why? Because she wanted a follow up performance? Was correcting an imbalance a more comfortable name, in her own mind, for what she was doing than coming on to a man? 

And if so, was it only that she was still worked up, or was Thom the man she wanted? 

He looked long into those deep dark eyes. "Do you want to do that with me? For its own sake? Really? Say it directly, by your oath, so I know you aren't manipulating me."

He felt her breathe in. "Yes. Light help me I really do. All of that."

"Well then, I'm sure not stopping you, Moiraine. As long as it's what you want."

The Aes Sedai stepped close to him. "It is."

So Thom held her face and kissed her tenderly, while her hands found his buttons.


	2. Wearing Red

Thom turned onto his side with a small loosening groan as he and the Aes Sedai rolled apart

Light but he felt amazing and he didn't even have that weird been around Rand heady feeling anymore. Just that excellent satisfaction a man felt with a beautiful woman in bed. They had actually made it to the bed, sometime between the third and forth who's reciprocating to whom inversion. 

For a few long moments, they just lay there, and Thom allowed the feeling of profound relaxation to wash over him. It had been quite some time since he'd enjoyed himself to this extent, and breaking the rut felt like some kind of rush. 

Must have been even more so for Moiraine, especially if it was true that she found unpartnered acts unfulfilling. No wonder she'd come at him. With a Warder in love with someone else and nearly everything else that breathed in the nation her enemy, Moiraine must have been ready to climb the walls. 

Thinking that reminded Thom that Moiraine was not necessarily the kind of woman one rolled over and went to sleep with, and he turned his head to get a look at her. 

"That escalated." Moiraine panted. Her Aes Sedai mask had dissolved into a dazed, slack faced expression, which looked very nice on her indeed. Her breath was at hyperventilation tempo. Made Thom felt like he'd done his job right proper to see her looking so mussed. One of the most powerful women he knew of and she'd completely lost it, around him. 

"You liked all that." Thom said lightly. "Or so you kept saying. Never heard you make such straightforward sentences in your life before." Sexy, straightforward, bound by the first oath sentences might just be his new favorite thing. 

"Nor I you." She managed to collect enough of her control to smirk. Her entire face was pure Andor-flag crimson. 

He reached out and touched her cheek with his thumb, making a little pale bloodless spot. “You’re wearing red.” 

Moiraine’s chest heaved as she mixed a laugh into her rough breath. “I am.” 

“I’ve never seen that color on you before.” He teased. 

“Almost a year…” Moiraine gasped. “Since anyone has made me wear it.” 

Well then. No wonder she’d been so eager. What was his excuse? 

She was still out of breath. He’d seen the things she could do without getting out of breath. 

Thom hesitated then held his arms out and open. “If you like. Just an offer.” 

She smiled and went into the embrace. Thom pulled Moiraine towards him and gave her an affectionate little squeeze resting his forehead against hers. Her chest was fluttering real pretty. He felt rather proud of himself. “This is exactly what a man likes to feel.” He purred in her ear as her breathing gradually slowed down. 

“Not all.” She sighed but had the strength to put some mischief in her inflection. 

He chuckled. ‘True enough, I liked the rest of it too. And yet this… is absolutely perfect wouldn’t you agree?" 

“Not quite.” Moiraine said.

Thom felt suddenly, irrationally nervous, as though Moiraine were suddenly going to declare that she hadn’t liked his performance much at all. Patently absurd given her reaction and yet...

“If it were perfect, you would be holding my hand.” 

“Oh… well that’s easily fixed.” He took her hand, gave it a squeeze and then a kiss. Then he held it and stroked it with his thumb. “Like that Moiraine?” 

“Yes.” Moiraine closed her eyes for a moment, and Thom watched her enjoy the feeling. They rested together for some time, and Thom felt almost ready to drift off to sleep. 

“We are still not even.” Moiraine commented. “In fact we may have made it worse.” 

“And what a thrill that is for me." 

Moiraine smiled in a way that looked almost sweet on her. “I am not using you?” She squeezed his hand. 

“No. I’m having a great time.” He said, grinning. 

She blushed. 

“Don’t be worried about being aggressive.” He said. “It's plenty my taste."

Moiraine looked like she couldn’t quite decide whether to believe him 

"And the whole manipulative and a little cruel thing you've got going..."

It sounded like she almost had her breathing back. "Yes?"

"I like it a lot better in bed."

Moiraine nodded. "It was enjoyable to be like that without the world depending on me."

In all honesty Thom was shocked they had been as compatible as they were. It was one thing to lust after a beautiful woman from a distance and quite another to find that they had the same sense of rhythm. At one point, both of them had even whispered 'right there' in unintentional unison. It was frankly a little frightening. 

Moiraine settled down within their hug and was watching him.

"Do you need anything?" His mind cycled through a thousand endearments and settled on none. 

"Water?" She suggested. 

"Of course." His legs shook a little as he got to his feet.

"There is some there on the…" She gestured with shaky arms.

He found a cup and a pitcher, poured for her, and put his arms around Moiraine's lovely shoulders as he eased the cup against her lips. 

Moiraine gave him an amused little smirk and grasped the cup with her own hand. Independent about that then. 

So Thom settled himself down next to her, watching her face in profile, thinking about that brilliant mouth, which he had seen demolish opposition of all kind, perform stories like a master, and declare truth that could melt the world. Yet here it was gulping water with beauty but little of her innate dignity. And before that… Thom had frequently heard Moiraine described as sharp tongued. What was her wheel playing at to give him an experience to contradict the notion so literally?

"There…" Moiraine declared smoothly, setting the cup away. "All recovered."

Thom studied her face looking for any sign of regret. Women, especially Cairhienin were taught that an ephemeral Gleeman stood for romance before but abandonment after. Even a worldly woman might be conflicted. However Moiraine's face showed nothing negative. She looked like a carnivore that had just taken down and picked to bones something twice its size. 

"You know, I love," he said, "that you look like some," better not call her a lioness. He already had a disastrous history with a lioness, "panther that just killed and then ate me."

"You have the order of that wrong." She said cheekily. 

Light, the woman was going to have him enamored, teasing like she was, but he wasn't going to let her circumvent the point. "I may have underestimated Aes Sedai." He told her. 

"Oh really?" She let herself fall back onto her back, hair fanned out around her. Her smile looked otherworldly.

"If you had said all those things you said in the midst of it and you hadn't been under a truth bind, I might have thought you were just stroking my ego." The woman had been downright talkative especially by her standards. He wasn't sure she'd ever admitted to wanting something around him before but she must have used the phrase just now ten or more times..

Moiraine rested her hands over and behind her head, still looking as smug as Thom felt. "I was not aiming for your ego" she teased "I kept talking because you are a very good listener."

Thom grinned "That's a high compliment."

"If I seem to flatter you, perhaps I am hoping for more of what I flatter. You happen to be very good at this."

"For the record, you are too. And if all the first oath would let you call that performance was passable, excellence would likely break the world." He traced along her arm.

"Something of interest to you?" She asked, her voice warmer than the inquiry. 

No point being dishonest. "Your scars."

"Another woman might feel self conscious under this scrutiny." Moiraine's eyes followed his hand. 

"But not you. I think you're proud that you have them." And he found them strangely beautiful, marks of a warrior on her pretty little feminine form. That one there for example had a little colored tinge that looked like a partially tainted blade had done it. The hue was almost exactly like the scar on his knee. That must have been real bad at the time. Excruciating or life threatening even. He gave it a little kiss.

"I earned them."Moiraine said and relaxed for a while while he continued observing. "Thank the light." She said finally. "That this happened with someone I actually like."

Well that there was some kind of a word. "Like? You mean sexually?"

She actually winked at him. "And as a person."

"Oh." He was probably blushing now. It wasn't enough for him that Moiraine Sedai had slept with him, no he had to be hoping she liked him enough for encores out of the bed too. He was an old man with a mess of a past and no ability to keep a relationship. Make 'em smile make 'em spend, but he wasn't the kind of man a girl expected to stay. So why did he want to for this gorgeous terror of a woman?

Moiraine interrupted his emotional digression. "Could you imagine if one of the High Lords had surprised me in that condition?"

Thom laughed. "Oh light, that would be so humiliating. I would be mortified for you. On your behalf."

Moiraine laughed. 

"And I barely know you."

She cocked her head. 

"That was not phrased right. " It was an insecurity leaping out is what it was, the notion she would never have done any of that if she actually knew him. 

Surprisingly the Aes Sedai did not seem to take offense. "I think we are at least acquainted." Moiraine commented slyly, rolling and leaning over his chest. "I did save your life. How many times was it?"

That brought him right back to the present, a time and place where Moiraine Sedai was in bed with him and both her dress and shift were draped over a chair several span away. Worries about tomorrow and worries about what it meant to be worrying about tomorrow could go hang until tomorrow. He had a beautiful naked Aes Sedai flirting with him right now."Depends on how you count it. How many times have you nearly killed me?"

"Perhaps too few..." She quirked her mouth at the corner. 

He tangled his hand in her hair. "You're a frightening woman."

She kissed him. As their arms wrapped around each other it struck Thom again how astounding it was that this brilliant little Damodred Aes Sedai somehow clicked together with him as if he was the second half of a blacksmith's puzzle. What a beautiful and horrifying thought it was that one of the most powerful people in the world played the bed with him like they'd been forged together as a matched set. 

A frightening woman indeed.  
_


	3. Questions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note: There is a brief reference in this chapter to a past occurrence that modern audiences would consider not fully consensual. In addition this chapter introduces some themes that are not completely vanilla.

They were still kissing, in angled poses over the bed when the door clicked. 

Moiraine's Warder walked into the room. 

Thom hurriedly pulled the blankets up to their waist. Moiraine flipped her hair back languidly. 

"Heh." Lan grabbed a few things from around the room and put them in a pack. "Good for you."

Moiraine crossed one arm across her chest but made no move to cover herself farther, as she supported herself on one arm behind like a fountain sculpture. 

"Everything happening as you wish it Aes Sedai?" Lan said conversationally, without stopping the task. He moved so that his back happened to be to the bed most of the time, but seemed unbothered. 

"I do not require help getting out of this." Moiraine declared. 

Lan nodded. 

“I did not want assistance getting into this either." She added pointedly.

The Warder grunted. "Right. Apologies, Aes Sedai."

"And?"

"And you might consider blurring the bond tonight around last bell."

"Better, Gaidin."

Lan glanced at Thom. "Perhaps you can get Moiraine Sedai to relax, Gleeman. She has been wound a bit tight of late."

"Of late?" Moiraine echoed coolly. 

"The last twenty or so years." Lan said dryly. 

Thom managed not to laugh.

Lan slung the bag over his shoulder. "By your leave." He said, a touch of amusement on his face, unless Thom missed the read.

Moiraine waved him out. 

Lan actually bowed like a retainer. Did Warders usually do that, or was the man yanking Moiraine's chain?

For a few moments they just looked at the closed door. 

"So now what?" Thom said.

Moiraine smiled, the kind of smile that poets spent their lives trying to capture on a page. "Now you kiss me again?"

“So, it doesn't bother you that Lan saw...?”

“About as much as it would bother me if Aldieb saw it.”

“Ah.”

"Awkward but..." She shrugged. "He's seen me in my skin. He's seen me without some of the skin."

Thom winced. 

"We have passed out, nearly bled out."

"He's family." Thom supplied. 

"He is." Moiraine nodded. "And if he disapproved of you, he would be far more aggressive, by the way. Once, a man went too far when I was drunk. Lan stabbed him."

Thom swallowed. 

"Not fatally." Moiraine clarified.

Sure, that was the least of Thom's worries. 

"And that was almost a decade ago. Why are you looking at me like that?”

He coughed, trying to soften his voice from gruff. "Just wanted to make sure you're alright."

"I was not at the time."Moiraine admitted. "But I only mentioned it to point out how that just now" she gestured at the door "was essentially approval."

She clearly did not want to reprise that for him. Best to leave it be. "I hear you. From the reaction to Lan, I thought you might enjoy being seen."

Moiraine laughed. "Not really. I am still Cairhienin."

"The wildest things I've ever done were with a woman who liked being seen, well the risk of it. One time I was under the table at a court dinner." Morgase seemed a long time ago now. Made him feel old, a decrepit fool trying to get involved with a beautiful dangerous Aes Sedai. Fairly well involved now, more fool him. 

Moiraine smiled and hesitated. "Are you looking for me to reciprocate that confidence?"

"Seems fair. What's the craziest thing you've done in bed?"

She winced. "Oh... The craziest."

He opened his mouth to tell her he’d realized his mistake...

“I had a partner simulate stilling on me." She admitted.

"Stilling?" 

"You know it as gentling."

"Oh." He shuddered. Gentling. He didn't let himself think about … he did not let himself think about that.

"A failed experiment. I think I was trying to process how likely that outcome had just become for me."

"Oh... was that... fun?" He felt a bit ill. 

"No. And not cathartic so it was useless besides. Unsuccessful on every front." She wasn't meeting his gaze. "I answered the question as asked, Thom. You are disgusted?"

"Not disgusted. Disturbed yes."

"I know it must seem disrespectful. You must understand that is something we do not talk about, or even think about. Bedplay was the only context I knew where things one does not talk about could be acted out. I feared I would lose my nerve from not even acknowledging to myself what I was risking."

"Well that makes sense. You could not exactly join a troop and act out Bonwhin Meraighdin in a masque." Though it would be a performance for the ages if she had. Light.

Her face looked serene but uncomfortable. "Right. Besides, it did nothing for me, so apparently I overestimated my own capacity for depravity."

"Depravity? Why you should see some of the characters I've enjoyed playing." He watched her face. "I’m encouraged that you're not sending me away for asking such a fool question."

"I suppose that is something" She tried to smile. It fit on her face awkwardly.

He grunted. "Alright. I think I'm getting the idea of asking you questions. What's one crazy thing you've done in bed that you would consider repeating."

Moiraine nodded "Better."

"And?"

The Aes Sedai considered for a moment. "I used a blindfold."

"Is that so? I didn't think you'd go for being blindfolded"

"Why not?"

"Your control" he swallowed "thing."

She let him squirm for a moment. "You are right. The blindfold is for my partner. For you." 

"Wow..." His ears heated, and his lower body tightened in a way that was too bloody eager. "That is so... I mean, yes you can blindfold me any time you want."

"Any time I want?" She mused. "I will remember that."

\---

Thom did not remember falling asleep. He remembered how he had become tired; there was no forgetting that. The woman had superb rhythm. She should have been a bard. Right, she had fallen asleep first. He remembered that now. 

The air around him abruptly became heavier, constricting. He coughed hard. 

"Oh. Moiraine said groggily. "You." The oppressing sensation stopped. 

"Did you just use the power on me?"

"I used the One Power on someone I thought, briefly, might be an attacker." She said coolly. 

He supposed he was meant to be grateful it was not a fireball. "Don't wake up to guests often, do you?"

Her beautiful regal jaw tensed. "Not really."

"I thought it might be easier to avoid crowds deeper into the night." And he'd liked watching her sleep, but he wasn't about to say that. "But I think it's late enough that I can.."

Moiraine's mouth was suddenly on his and her leg was winding behind his good knee. 

"Mmm Moiraine." 

She threw her arms around his neck. "Do you like that?"

"Moiraine wait."

She paused. "What is it?" she said serenely.

"Do you only want this to be a one-night?"

The Aes Sedai coughed and sat back pensively.

"Because you don't seem to want me to leave."

"I have a cause." Moiraine said. "That has to take precedence."

"So it does," Thom said. "But you show me where in that thing, and only you would have a copy of the Karaethon Cycle on your bed stand by the way, that thing says Moiraine Sedai can’t take a lover."

Moiraine's eyes widened. 

"Too ambitious? Man you have assignations with? Old fool you're toying with? Give me a register here. Preferably one where we get to do this again."

Moiraine looked away from him, down at the messy sheets. "I am going to hurt you. Badly." 

"That was true since you set foot in the Two Rivers. I don't see what's new about that."

"Lovers implies some degree of priority." Moiraine said. "There are concessions I must not make. I cannot hesitate to remove any thread from the pattern if it needs it. Including yours or my own."

"You're saying you'll still kill me "

"If I must."

"Light, why is that a turn on?"

Moiraine's chuckle sounded a little nervous.

"Hmm." Thom said. "How about I respect you enough to believe you won't abandon your principles just because you've cuddled up to me. And you respect me enough to believe I'm not going to let you manipulate Rand just because I get my mustache wet with you."

Moiraine's eyes flew open. "You what?!”

He probably shouldn’t have said...

"And then she fell into laughter "Oh Light.." Her ears turned red. "Oh Light that is just awful." She slapped the bed. 

"I..."

Moiraine inhaled heavily. "Thom I could just..." She slid into laughter again, the tone sounding almost hysterical. "Alright..." She took a deep breath. "Light, this is really happening."

"Moiraine."

"Here are my conditions. Complete secrecy. We do not spare each other in politics. But we do hold each other and you make me laugh."

"That sounds like lovers."

"You may call me that when we are alone."


	4. Speaking Simply

Moiraine stood in front of the mirror, awkwardly adjusting her dress for what must have been the tenth time. 

"It looks fine." Lan said from the corner, where he was calmly maintaining his armor. 

She adjusted it again without answering. 

"Merrilin will want to move that neckline no matter how precisely you place it. There's no point to worry about it."

"Do you not have some village girl to...?" Moiraine snapped and instantly regretted it. Lan looked hurt. And also very worried. "I apologize. I should not have said that." 

"I apologize also. Again. For not warning you."

"Thank you."

She and Lan had always maneuvered around each other's sexuality with a fair amount of ease. She was from the school of thought among Aes Sedai that believed one should not do things with one's Warder that he had not taken the initiative to express a clear desire for first. Too much uneven power otherwise. And if the Warder had ever wanted her that way, he'd never let on. The bond was more important than all that anyway, and the cause.

Until Nynaeve, Lan had seemed to prefer quick one times with barmaids and similar, and had expected Moiraine's tendencies to run the same, to the point of disapproving if they did not. 

They had their system of signs and signals and it had worked well. Certainly there were hiccups. For one it was no trivial trick to seduce anyone while being followed around by a menacing man the size of a small mountain. Yet Moiraine managed or did not manage as the Wheel allowed. Lan eventually helped her learn to arrange to sate her lusts safely. Occasionally he even found partners for her. The Warder could be nosy. But their system had worked, mostly. Until the Two Rivers, where Moiraine had stopped feeling like life left her any spare second for pleasures, and Lan met Nynaeve. 

Moiraine swallowed as it occurred to her that the reason Lan had not warned her might be that his time with Nynaeve was so much love, he did not remember to treat it like sex in a tavern. 

"A dressing gown." Lan said, jolting her out of reflection. 

"What?"

He looked at her with all the annoyance of someone forced to reteach what should already be known. "You should decide on a dressing gown and a shift." Lan stood up and rifled through her clothes. 

Moiraine blushed. 

"These." Lan held up something thin and Domini "Say to a man 'touch me, and don't ask any awkward questions. I won't give you time to think.' These." Also lacy but softer and Tarian "Say 'do wild things to me, but hold me when we're done'." 

"Gaidin..." Moiraine put a note of warning in her voice. 

"Unless you're not sure which of those you want?" He said innocently. 

Burn the man with his gambler's face. Burn both men.

"I will think about it." She said and waved Lan back to his work. 

Last night, after she let Thom use that word, lovers, their last round had been so gentle she'd felt like she was dying. Sweet she had said when he asked what she was eager for, but the result was like inhaling honeycomb. 

It terrified her, really. 

Not that she was bedding the Gleeman. Not that she wanted to, or even that it was good. As Thom had pointed out, that self control was not precisely required of her in this situation. Though her father had likely rolled in his grave at what she had done with a servant in an open hall. Humiliating certainly. But the man had been good enough for Morgase Trakand, and Moiraine could not quite manage to feel ashamed of herself for enjoying what they had done together.

But she hadn't wanted him to leave. That was frightening. She wanted to stay in bed with Thom, while he made horribly inappropriate jokes and fidgeted with her body, running his touch over her damage like he admired it. She had wanted to be made to laugh and feel happy. 

The First Oath had flat out not let her say she wanted him to leave or not come back. And she had tried. She could probably have used some Aes Sedai word trick, but Thom could detect those and disliked them. Light, she was far gone. It was pathetic. 

Moiraine could have sworn, at least at the time, that her initial offer of her mouth for repayment really had been about evening the debts, or getting them in her favor. But then that infuriating gorgeous man had pushed her for plain language.

Why? It could not be simply that he wanted to run her unambiguous unmanipulating consent past her oath. The Grey Fox had played Daes Dae'mar, albeit in Andor where they would say anything. He had to know that the straight talk about things like wanting and enjoyment would be taboo enough to give her a thrill, that it was so nasty as to be its own seduction. He should know that asking someone with her background to say they wanted something for its own sake was just not done.

Yes, surely he had known. And somehow his insistent blunt way of questioning her had broken her inner barriers, and let a flood of words. Under the guise of reassuring him Moiraine had found herself saying things like 'I want you to...' and 'That feels so good', things that had only one meaning, until speaking simply and honestly to him had become melded to the excitement. 

What in the Light was wrong with her? She was actually getting off on talking like a farmwife? Most Cairhienin nobles would not be this frank with their own spouses. It was obscene. None of her brief dalliances had ever taken issue with this. Why the only other person who had ever had a problem was Siuan, but even Siuan had been content with a nod or the like as a response. 

It made her want to slap him. The problem was, it also made her want to keep talking.

Moiraine knew what Min had seen about her marrying Thom. She should have been determined to make it into a political marriage, a bargain. But now she was acting like some lightskirt, all over him like she could not control herself. She was not making the prophecy happen, it was happening thunderously, overwhelmingly to her. Like being capsized under a wave (and she was oh so aware of the bite of thinking a nautical metaphor at a time like this). Perhaps in isolation this little infatuation was no cause for alarm. But even in less than one dizzying day, it had become a metaphor for every other prophecy she could not control, every other thing happening to her and the world, being the object of the Wheel not the subject.

She needed to be stronger. But it was slowly, tortuously slowly, becoming clear to her that whatever Lan felt for their friendship wasn't enough to hold him. And equally clear she might never see Siuan again. And if Rand did not see sense and do something...

Lan's hands touched her shoulder. "I do not think a man should be making you feel this anxious. Especially one that isn't Ta'veren."

Moiraine scowled. 

The Warder chuckled.

Thoughtfully, Moiraine touched the Tarian lace. "What if I want something like this, only playful."

"Playful?"

"Merrilin is that, is he not?" She tried to make her voice sound light and not unstable. 

"Hmmm, same thing. Differently tied."

"Very well. How do I tie it then." Moiraine could not tell herself if she was giving in to lust or panic.


	5. Telling

Thom stepped out of the fireplace. 

Moiraine stared at him, calm from the edge of the bed. He noticed that the bookmarks in her copy of the Karaethon Cycle were differently placed tonight. 

"Did you find everything with no difficulty?"

"Right where you said it was." He did not thank her for the wealth of information that using this one particular secret passage gave him on the hidden layout of the fortress in general. No need to point out how useful that would be to him. No need at all.

Moiraine looked at him with those steady eyes that didn't miss much of anything. "May I offer you wine or tea?"

"Tea." Thom decided. Being around Moiraine already felt like being drunk. Besides, he knew she liked tea. 

Moiraine kept her eyes on what what she was doing. "Do you object if I channel this hot? I can heat it manually but would have to start the fire again." 

Thom wondered how much she knew about his dislike for the power. In particular, he thought about that self-satisfied smirk on her face every time she'd taken his tiredness on the road. Truth be, it wasn't all the power that bothered him there. It didn't seem right to feel refreshed when this little slip of a terror was making herself sick. But that wasn't this. "As long as you only use it on the tea."

The next few moments passed in tense silence as they waited for the tea to brew. 

Thom cleared his throat. "Has the time to think been a problem for you?"

"Think about what?"

He supposed that was a good question. "About us. Have you found misgivings?"

"My misgivings have not changed. They were there to begin."

"Ah. Then perhaps you have cooled." Thom said carefully.

"Why do you ask that?"

"You seem to have me at arms length." Surely last time she had been caught up. Surely she was regretting it by now. 

Moiraine paused for a long slow minute. "I am not cooled. I am so tense I can hardly bear it. I feel like a harp string." She said in that precise controlled Cairhienin accent of hers.

He carefully ran his hand from her shoulder to her elbow, feeling her shiver. "I have some skill with those."

"This is happening..." he heard her say, soft as his touch.

Then, suddenly, they were both moving at once, sharply, almost competitively. Someone knocked over a chair. His bad knee nearly went out from under him. 

The tea ended up irreparably oversteeped.  
___________  
Thom hadn't expected it to last a second night. 

Or a third. 

Or a forth. 

But when he got to the fifth night he figured they must be doing something right. That or Moiraine was playing an excessively long game. And he didn't know why the Aes Sedai would choose to make this play. Still, he was careful. He made sure he listened to what she said and asked her blunt yes and no questions. Not just does she choose this but does she want this? Not just does she want it but is she enjoying it, specifically enjoying him? Thom had been listening very carefully and unless Moiraine had found a way to break the oaths she was all that of those things. 

And if that wasn't something else, Moiraine bloody Damodred Aes Sedai eagerly seducing him. Thom had never imagined there would be anyone from that lineage he wanted to touch with a ten conductor's baton, Morgase's children excepted of course. Laman's generation had been a lot of power mad narcissists, and their children had been better, but only just. Thom had certainly never expected while arranging for that necessary little accident that he would one day find himself bedding Taringail's half sister. In fact if he had known then there was a Damodred woman and an Aes Sedai besides that set to meddle in affairs, he might have tried to arrange a little accident for her too. 

Well, not really. Moiraine was nowhere near as warped as her half-brother had been. But it did occur to him at the strangest moments to wonder what Moiraine would do when she found out. Would she want revenge? Be disgusted? Light for all he knew she might approve. 

Moiraine brought him back to reality by gasping and pushing him back. "That's enough." She said, eyes sparkling. Moiraine had requested he massage her hand, and so naturally she got to call the stop. 

Thom didn't recall either of them suggesting the game, the turns they were taking. But their conversation, the original idea that they were reciprocating and evening debts, had gradually taken this form, more and more, until it was a clear part of their routine. One of them would ask a question or demand something and then the other, as they answered or fulfilled desires in turn. Neither of them had vocally admitted that they were playing a crude tavern game, but Thom had seen this one played in common rooms and the night before weddings the world over. 

The other unacknowledged rule was no questions touching on Daes Dae'mar. No demands that left the room. The game kept them away from their sharp edges, and for that Thom liked it

"Your turn, Thom." Moiraine said. 

"Do you like to play the high melodic line or the bass line?" He said. "So to speak?" He hadn't detected a preference for that yet, as she seemed to be alternating, but that did not necessarily mean there was none. 

"I like.. " Her mind worked a moment. "Counterpoint best."

"Oh really?"

"Yes. I used to prefer the lower line exclusively, but I have since then found I enjoy handing the melody back and forth."

He grinned at her. "Me too." Light, it seemed they really were compatible with everything. Explained why they weren't able to stick to a position too. 

Moiraine was smirking. Likely thinking the same thing.

"Your turn." Thom said. 

"What would you most enjoy seeing me wear?"

This all was a lot more structure than he usually experienced in bed with lovers, even Morgase, who had been her own mire of traps. "Your glory dress." 

"Hmm?"

"You know the one that you wear when you want the petty lords to be dazzled by how intimidating and glorious you look."

"Ah." She smiled. 

"That hiked up to the waist." He grinned. 

For one of the most powerful women in the world, she sure blushed easy. It made a rather endearing contrast.

"Name something you don't like in bed." Thom said. 

"When men expect it to hurt and get their pride injured when it does not."

Thom grimaced. 

Moiraine rolled her eyes. "Especially if they follow it with an explanation referencing my height or weight or anything else with the word small in it. "

He doubted he'd like that much either if he were her. "Your turn."

"Kiss my neck for a while." Moiraine chose an order this time. 

"Do you want to have bruises?"

"Not with tomorrow's gown. Gently."

Thom let his mind wander as he fulfilled the demand. It was certainly strange, this structured game they were playing. But he couldn't say he minded. It was easier to figure out what Moiraine preferred this way. It made a nice change from all the girls who seemed to expect the glamorous Gleeman to intuit what they wanted, with no direction. Besides he knew himself for an incorrigible flirt and Moiraine seemed to he encouraging that instinct directed at her. 

No, what continued to surprise him was that Moiraine was allowing this. Playing a game that asked her questions, even exclusively harmless ones, under oath, seemed so against her manipulative nature. Half the stone would probably kill to go a few rounds at this game with her. He had best make sure that she never realized Thom was a Daes Dae'mar opponent in his own right. 

Sometimes, as right now, their game had a faint edge of rehearsal on it, as though Moiraine were practicing for something. He was reminded sometimes of that game she had played, of being gentled, and his blood chilled. He couldn't think of anything the bloody woman could possibly be rehearsing for with a simple game of questions and demands though, so he told himself she was feeling out the unusual relationship. 

Moiraine pulled away. "Your turn."

"What did you think of that just now?"

"I think I need to have a high-necked glory dress made."

The way she said that went straight into his blood. 

"Something I do that you really enjoy." Moiraine said.

"When you say 'that feels good' and I know you can't lie." Thom said. "Are you really no good at touching yourself?"

"Yes. It is maddening. Why do you ask?" 

"Actually, I would like to offer to try to help you explore that."

Moiraine's eyebrows made an odd movement. "You would?"

"Well much as I'm flattered by how we get on together, I imagine it's frustrating for you when you have to be alone."

Her eyes were a little suspicious but interested he thought probably. 

"Would you show me what you do?"

Moiraine took a deep breath. "Very well. But do not laugh."

"You have my word."

"Well enough…" Moiraine looked almost confused "I…" 

"I promise the moment it stops being fun or feels frustrating, I'll get involved." Thom offered. "Give you a little help."

"Well then… I usually sit up." Moiraine said, adjusting her positioning. She hesitated. 

"Want me to give you an out or to talk you into it?"

Her eyes glinted at him, daring and oh so gorgeous. "Talk me into it."

"Tell me where the trouble is." Thom said. 

"I will be doing well and then… it is as if I cannot manage the right thought anymore. Like I am trying to jump down from some high place, but I am too much of a coward."

"You could never be a coward." Thom said. "Too much in your head though, now that I believe."

She nodded. 

"Now Ive been thinking about what you said, that you like to play counterpoint and the thing is counterpoint is not just about taking turns leading. It's that it's a dialog, reacting to the other line. Whether you're leading or not at that moment, that's the focus."

Moiraine considered. "I need." she said. "Something to react to, then."

"So I thought." Thom said. "I would tell you a nasty little story. And maybe you could just let me know when you like what I'm saying by … reacting to your urges. Give yourself a little appreciation" he winked.

He was aware of every grain of her intelligence as she thought it over. "You will help me if I get frustrated?"

"Happily."

"In that case," she smiled slyly. "what is the story about?"

"Well it's about a man and a woman, who love each other very much…" he teased. 

She laughed

"It's about anything you want it to be about."

"What if it" she paused. "Is about us?"

"You want to think about me when you do this alone?"

"Mmmhmm if you do not mind. I would enjoy having your blessing and your encouragement to think such things."

Light if that wasn't the wickedest thing he'd ever heard. "You've got it woman. The story's about us." 

"Very well then sit behind me and whisper the rest in my ear now…"


End file.
